August 7

07Aug08

Today a disease came upon me. It crept all around my body while I slept, planning its attack. By the time I woke up I was a lost cause; it’s tentacles were already wrapped around my neck. All through the day it grew tighter and tighter, not venturing to let go. Today, I saw what it was going to be like when both of my brothers move out. And you know what? It fucking sucked. My legs became lead, not willing to move at my bidding. My head was cloudy and forgetful. My tongue, just as bad, tied up constantly and became slow and dull. I was alone in my house, physically, not mentally. But mentally perhaps I was alone too. Maybe it was the physical emptiness echoing my own mental emptiness that made me realize… I am alone. Now not alone in the sense that I have nobody to confide in; I have God, I have friends, I have family. But alone in the sense that at the first sign of salvation, an invitation to a social event, I became ecstatic. The same loneliness that strangled me throughout the day lept off my shoulders.

I needed this.

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